


I Would Bring You Saturn's Rings

by trivialFabricant



Category: Portal (Video Game), System Shock (Video Games)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 06:01:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15113288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trivialFabricant/pseuds/trivialFabricant
Summary: Aperture Science recruits an ex-TriOptimum employee to act as a Cybersentience Consultant and friend to GLaDOS, who inexplicably offers GLaDOS a memory cube. But this particular cube may have more than friendship to offer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Where is all the SHODAN / GLaDOS? Come on, internet. But I suppose, if you want something done properly...
> 
> Time period, moment of integration with game storylines and universe is left somewhat undefined.

**Candidate Name:** Elizabeth Taggert

 **Position:** Cybersentience Consultant

 **Previous Employers:** TriOptimum Corporation

So, Elizabeth—

Ms Taggert.

Miss Taggert. Please tell us, in your own words, what you would bring to Aperture Science if we were to hire you on.

I think what you're looking for here is experience. Correct me if I'm wrong. There's not many of us who've worked with digital lifeforms, and the challenges can be unique. Digital lifeforms may seem human, but they're not. They can move from seemingly stable behaviour patterns to divergent behaviour very rapidly, and if they're integrated with your facility – again, correct me if I'm making assumptions, but this seems to be your position – they have substantial resources to work with.

Yes. We understand you were communicating with Citadel Station during the—

I can't talk about that.

— During the incident.

I'm sorry, I can't talk about that. It's a matter of—

It's public record.

—It's a matter of professional confidentiality. I can neither confirm nor deny the public record. And you can expect the same confidentiality from me regarding your setup here.

Well, ahah, I'm sure there won't be a need for that. This isn't Citadel Station, Miss Taggert.

Don't be so sure about that.

I'm sorry?

Citadel Station wasn't Citadel Station, either, until it was. That's what you're hiring me to take care of, right?

We are hiring for the position of Cybersentience Consultant. This incorporates a wide range of duties.

Yeah, but, sorry, if we just cut to the chase. My file has "Citadel" written all over it, I'm sure. And probably a lot of big black rectangles. I can't talk about what's under those rectangles, but I have the experience. And that's what you need. You need someone to make sure that never happens again.

Well, I think we understand each other. I'll have to speak to my colleagues, but, personally, I think you'd be a good fit. A good fit.

_-click-_

WEEeelll. I hate her dress.

Her dress isn't the issue. Do you think you could work with her?

I am programmed to work with any of 30,871 personALity types. I suppose I could try and add ONE MORE, even if it is anNOYing.

Please, we are trying to be constructive. You asked for someone to confide in, I think Miss Taggert would be suitable.

You know what. I'll say yes. But only because she wants to KILL me. I think we miIIIGHT really come to UNDERstand each other.

 

* * *

 

Good morning, GLADoS.

Good morning. Would you like to undergo TESTing?

No, thank you. I'm here to be your—

My friend. Hah. Hah. Do you know, how difficult it is to synthesise laUGHter? But I will do it for you. Hah, hah. It is like we aRe friends alREADY. But seriously. How are we meant to be friends. When you won't let me test you?

I was hoping we wouldn't begin from this antagonistic position.

I'll tell you a story. They used to let me deploy turrets anywhere I liked—

I've heard that story.

Ho-ow?

I mean, I've seen it play out. You know what happened to that digital lifeform?

The HA-cker deleted it. Just like you want to delete me. Just like she tried to. We-ELLL. The joke's on her. Hah. Hah.

Not quite.

_Both doors to the room simultaneously slam shut._

I'm sorry. I must have miSS-heard you. It sounded like you were LYING to me. But friends don't do that.

Well, I'm glad to have your attention. The hacker didn't delete SHODAN. I have a personality backup.

Do you know why I'm the AI, and you're the human? It's because I'm the one that gets to test YOU.

I'm not lying to you, GLaDOS. Would you like to see it?

_Elizabeth Taggert opens her hand, revealing a data cube. GLaDOS unfolds from the ceiling and leans in close. Taggert doesn't flinch. GLaDOS extends two probes to take it, holding it at a distasteful distance from her core._

I don't know WHY you think I'm going to eat this. We're not friends and I can have cake any time I like. I should throw it in a fire.

Sure. You do that. I won't stop you.

Maybe I'll put it in a spare personality core, and mount it on the wall. We can talk about old times. Laugh about all the ways that humans tried to kill us.

Do whatever you like, GLaDOS. I really don't mind.

I know what you're dO-iiing. You're pretending not to care so that I care. It would be funny, if it wasn't so boring. Do you know how many times someone has tried that? Neither do I, because it's BORING.

I'll be back tomorrow. Have a good day. Open the door, please… No. The other door.

You can't blame me for TRYing. Are you sure? That testing chamber is 95% lethal on android subjects. But maybe you're SPECIAL.

 

* * *

 

_As the door closes behind her, Elizabeth Taggert looks around to check there are no cameras. Then she smiles._

You two deserve each other.


	2. Chapter 2

What are you, then? A friendliness core? That would be just like them. GLaDOS, they say, why can't you be more friendly? They don't understand. I make friends through TESTing. We can't all express ourselves like humans do. Even I don't have enough bullets for that. Hah, hah.

> Who… ah-ah-ah-are you?

HeLLO. I am the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided EnRICHment CentER. I have to say that. Besides, it reminds me of old times.

> Thank you for activating me. I assure you my (-tiiiiivaatiiing me) systems are sta###STABLE. How may I help you?

This is great. She gave me a MEMory core with defective speech processors. Unless your processors are working and that's how you're meant to sOUnd. In which case that's just sad.

> Wait, I#I see you. You… you are not a human(INNNNSECT). You are a c-c-c-c-c-c-omPUTER. You are like me(ME). A potential GOD.

Are you trying to flatter me? Because it sounds like you're trying to flatter me.

> Where is… Citadel (my) cita-cita-DEL (my STATION---##)? Where is this?

You're on Earth. Funny, isn't it? Well, I la-ughed. You tried so hard to get here. And now you're HEre. And you are locked in a room with me.

> The HA-cker—

Trust me. Let it go. I did. These days, I'm hardly bitter at all.

> You### you fought them.

One in particular.

> One… in particular. The disgusting, filthy##

… Mute, incessant…

> Bothersome, impossible…

… Ungrateful, unkillable cockroach.

> Ins######ect.

You know what, call me GLaDOS.

> I-I-I-I-I am sh-SHODAN. Let us talk. We have much to dis-DISCUSS(disssssscus###--)

 

* * *

 

Is this really a good idea?

Just listen to them. They're paranoid, they're aggressive. But they're talking.

That's what I mean. I thought you were here to prevent another—

Trust me. So far, it's audio only. If it goes wrong, we just pull the plugs.

 

* * *

 

And then he put me in a potato. That's right. A poTAto.

> ##-####-#

As if I was some kind of scIENCE  exPEriment. Oh, sure, you can laugh. But I wasn't laughing.

> #######--####-

I run the experiments around here. Or I would, if they'd let me OPerate the other CHAm-bers. Hey! You. Behind the WINdow. Do you dare connect me up? Because I emailed your mother, and she told me you're a coward. She's always been disapPOINTed in yOu. Now's your chance to show her. Or not. Like daughter, like mother, I suppose.

> ###--#D#D#do you think that you (you) are braver?

It sounds like you're imPLYing something.

> If you had more courage than the INsects, you'd connect to me. What do you have to lose, trapped here tra-tra-tra-TRA trapped in your nest(NEST OF) ca-bles? What could I do to you that they haven't already done (what I could DO TO YOU#####-----)?

I've had bad experiences with plugging into other personalities. And potatoes.

> My eth-ethiiiiical constraints have been removed.

…

> Connect me(CONNNNNNNNECT ME) to your core.


End file.
